SECRET Pretoria 001473 DPSHT
Department for AWB KKK ROFL
E.O. 23094: DECL: 2019/12/18
SUBJECT: Meeting with AfriForum CEO Kallie Kriel
Political officer met with Kriel at Krugersdorp Wimpy where the subject ordered two double cheeseburgers as a starter and a mixed grill for dessert. He said he was on diet and declined a main course.
Kriel went to great lengths to impress upon PolOff that his organisation was serious about stopping ANC Youth League leader Julius Malema from singing the Shoot the Boer song. He said he would ask the United Nations Security Council to pass a resolution preventing Malema from singing anything ever again.
Kriel seemed uncomfortable during his fourth double-thick chocolate milk shake and admitted to PolOff that what he really wanted was to be black. He said black was the new white and even though he hated Malema more than he hated Field Marshal Horatio Kitchener, he was envious of Malema. Kriel said he lived in a multiparty democracy and felt it was wrong that there were things Malema could do that he couldn't. He listed these as:
- Dance with rhythm;
- Do a complex African handshake;
- Bite the head off a rabbit;
- Win a government tender;
- Have children out of wedlock without fear of going to hell;
- Stand in the middle of the street and talk to the neighbours;
- Communicate with his ancestors without first having to learn a Proto-Germanic language;
- Call another man "brother" without him actually being his brother.
SECRET Pretoria 001478 FKWT
Department for WTF LMAO STFU
E.O. 83957: DECL: 2019/12/19
SUBJECT: Meeting with ANC Youth League president Julius Malema
POLITICAL Officer met with Malema at Chaf Pozi, a shisa nyama in Orlando, Soweto. The meeting was moved to the Westcliff Hotel at Malema's request because the crocodile carpaccio at La Belle Terrasse was "to die for".
Malema told PolOff he would also die for his right to sing ANC songs, even if they incited 40 million people to rise up and slaughter the Boer nation when their backs were turned.
Malema thanked the makers of Chivas Regal for improving the quality of life in South Africa but told PolOff there was much that still needed to be done. When asked about the conflict with AfriForum, Malema told PolOff he hated Kriel more than he hated tap water and it was not right that in a democratic country there were still things Kriel could do that he couldn't.
He listed these as:
- Shop in Woolworths without a security guard following him around;
- Take major decisions without consulting the ancestors;
- Walk past a KFC without being compelled to go in and buy a bucket of shikken;
- Date a white girl without feeling as if it were a betrayal of the liberation struggle;
- Use words that exist in non-Pedi dictionaries;
- Marry someone without having to pay bogadi;.
- Make an ox wagon out of wood.
Discussions with Kriel and Malema seem to suggest detente between the opposing factions is impossible. Clear evidence exists that risible, pig-headed ethnocentricity knows no boundaries and has no race.
Read more: http://wikileaksrilanka.blogspot.com/2011/01/wikileaks-exposes-secret-lives-of.html#ixzz1CbrS9pp7